Writing a Compelling Online Dating Message: Just Don’t Be Creepy

Last updated on February 9th, 2023 at 01:48 pm

Your chances of receiving a response from someone on a dating app or website can be made or broken by the first message you send.

You have the chance to establish a positive first impression and demonstrate your enthusiasm in getting to know the other person.

It’s crucial to be authentic, but you should also be aware of the impression you provide.

The following are some pointers for crafting an effective online dating message:

Adapt Your Message

Adapt Your Message
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Sending a sterile, impersonal greeting is one of the biggest dating internet mistakes you can make.

Take the time to customize your message and convey that you are interested in getting to know the person, rather than just saying “hey” or “hello.

Mention particulars from their profile, such a common passion or a distinctive activity.

This will demonstrate that you read their profile carefully and that you have a sincere interest in them.

Being assured without being haughty

Arrogance is unattractive, but confidence is.

Keep your message free of pick-up lines and overtly sexual language.

Instead, demonstrate your self-assurance and security by being sincere and true to who you are.

Be friendly and open, and share a little bit about yourself and your interests.

This will improve your appeal to potential mates and raise your probability of receiving a response.

Be Brief And Sweet

Your writing should be clear and succinct.

Keep your message brief and to the point; avoid rambling or writing a novel.

The likelihood that the other person will read it and respond will increase as a result.

Avoiding text language and emojis is also a smart idea because they come seem as unprofessional.

Spelling and grammar must be correct

Any type of written communication, including online dating communications, requires proper grammar and spelling.

They not only help you appear knowledgeable and competent, but they also convey your concern for how you come across.

Spend some time proofreading and fixing any mistakes in your message to make sure it is error-free.

Ask a question

A wonderful technique to start a conversation and demonstrate your sincere interest in learning more about the other person is to ask a question.

It may just be a simple question about their interests or hobbies, or it might be something more targeted that fits their profile.

This will offer them a chance to reply and strike up a dialogue, which might result in a possible connection.

Use a call to action

Use a call to action

Your letter should be concluded with a call to action that invites the recipient to comment or pose a question.

By doing so, you’ll be able to strike up a conversation and demonstrate your interest in getting to know them.

When communicating, always be kind and respectful, and be willing to make adjustments and compromises.

Don’t bring up previous relationships or ex-partners

It’s normal to want to reveal a little bit about yourself and your experiences in your online dating message, but it’s crucial to refrain from referencing ex-partners or previous relationships.

It’s preferable to concentrate on the present and the future because this could be seen as negative or baggage.
Instead, concentrate on your preferences for a mate and a relationship, as well as your interests and ambitions.

Be Aware Of Tone

Your online dating message’s impression can be significantly impacted by the tone you use.

Be aware of how you come across and refrain from speaking or acting in a manner that could be interpreted as rude, hostile, or confrontational.

Keep your message upbeat and hopeful, and demonstrate that you appreciate and are interested in learning more about the other person.

Make Your Message Special For The Person You Are Messaging

It’s critical to address the recipient of your communication specifically.

Avoid using a template or sending the same message to many recipients.

Instead, invest the effort to tailor your letter and demonstrate that you are eager to learn more about that particular person.

This will demonstrate your sincerity and genuineness, which will improve your chances of receiving a response.

Think about timing

Online dating can include timing, so it’s a good idea to think about when you send your message.

You are more likely to receive a response if you message someone who is online and engaged.

A person who hasn’t been active in a while may not notice your message or may not be motivated to respond if you message them.

Additionally, it’s a good idea to be aware of cultural and time zone differences because you don’t want to bother somebody when it’s not convenient.


To sum up, creating a strong online dating profile and message is a crucial stage in the process of connecting with people online.

You can improve your chances of getting a response and beginning a fruitful conversation by personalizing your message, being certain but not arrogant, keeping it brief and simple, using appropriate punctuation and spelling, asking a question, and adding a call to action.

To get the most out of your online dating experience, avoid bringing up previous relationships or ex-partners, be considerate of tone, tailor your message to the person you are contacting, and take timing into account.

Remember that internet dating is a process and don’t be scared to be authentic and out there.

You can establish a connection and a long-lasting relationship with a little work and the appropriate mindset.

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